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You don’t need another conversation that goes nowhere.
You may love each other deeply and still find yourselves having the same fight in different forms.
Maybe trust has been damaged.
Maybe resentment has accumulated.
Maybe one of you is reaching for connection while the other shuts down, gets defensive, or pulls away.
Or maybe nothing is dramatically “wrong.” You just know that the way you’re relating to each other isn’t working anymore.
Most couples don’t need more insight alone.
They need help understanding the pattern they’re caught in and then a practical way to change what actually happens between them.
That’s where I come in.
My approach to relationship coaching combines deep understanding of attachment, trauma, and the nervous system with concrete communication skills, practical relationship structures, and real accountability.
We’ll understand why you keep ending up here.
And then we’ll work on doing something different.
This isn’t endless talking about your relationship.
It’s focused, practical work designed to change the relationship you’re actually living in.
Why work with me?
I’ve spent more than 25 years helping people understand what happens underneath the surface of their relationships.
I earned my Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy in 2001 and have devoted my career to studying relationships, attachment, trauma, and the nervous system.
But I also believe insight only matters if it helps you live differently together.
My coaching approach is warm, direct, deeply attuned, and practical.
I’ll help you understand the patterns keeping you stuck, teach you concrete ways to change them, and support both of you in building a relationship that feels better to actually live inside.
You don’t need a perfect relationship. You need a relationship that knows how to repair, reconnect, and grow.
FAQs
Can we talk with Amy before we commit?
Absolutely! Set up a free 25 minute Discovery Call here!
You'll have a chance to tell me a little about what's happening, ask questions, and get a feel for how I work. There's no pressure to decide anything on the call. We're simply figuring out whether this feels like the right fit for both of you.
What if therapy hasn't worked in the past? Why would coaching be different?
I get it. Many couples come to me with a tremendous amount of insight into why they do what they do and still find themselves having the exact same fight.
My approach is intentionally practical. We'll absolutely understand the deeper attachment and nervous-system dynamics underneath your relationship, but we won't get stuck looping there.
We'll work on what you actually say, do, practice, agree to, and change between sessions.
The goal isn't to become better at talking about your relationship. It's to help your relationship actually function differently.
What will we actually do in sessions?
We'll identify the cycle that's keeping you stuck and work with what is happening between you in real time.
Depending on your relationship, that might mean learning how to have difficult conversations without escalating or shutting down, repairing after conflict, rebuilding trust after betrayal, creating clearer agreements and boundaries, changing patterns around intimacy or connection, or figuring out what each of you needs to feel safer and more connected.
You'll leave sessions knowing what you're working on and what to do differently.
You’ll learn to track yourself in real time and take ownership of your own path to change, shifting the focus from “What do I need my partner to do differently?” to “What can I notice, choose, and practice differently right now?”
Will we have to share everything about our personal lives?
You don't have to tell me every detail of your history for this work to be effective.
We'll talk about the experiences that are relevant to understanding your relationship and the patterns you're trying to change.
My job isn't to excavate your entire past. It's to understand enough to help you see what's happening now and create a different way forward.
Who is relationship coaching for?
This work is for couples who still care about their relationship and are willing to participate in changing it, even if you're currently hurt, angry, disconnected, exhausted, or unsure how to get back to each other.
You don't have to arrive agreeing about everything. You don't even have to agree about exactly what the problem is.
You do both need to be willing to show up honestly and engage in the process.
Is this a long-term commitment?
No. In fact, coaching is designed to be focused and active rather than open-ended.
I begin with a six-week minimum commitment because meaningful change takes enough time to identify your patterns, interrupt them, practice something different, and see how those changes hold up in real life.
At the end of that initial period, we'll assess where you are and what, if anything, would be useful next.
What is Amy's professional training?
I earned my Master's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy in 2001 from Notre Dame de Namur University in California, and have spent more than 25 years working with relationships, trauma, attachment, and the nervous system.
I am a practicing trauma therapist in Colorado and also provide intensive in-person healing work for couples and individuals, including retreats, intensives and ketamine assisted therapy.
Relationship coaching is a separate, non-therapy service that allows me to bring that depth of experience into a more direct, practical, skills-based and action-oriented way of working with couples.
OUR ENERGETIC AGREEMENTS
To keep our work grounded, honest, and useful, I ask both partners to agree to the following Energetic Agreements before we begin.
These agreements are not about being perfect. They are about creating a container where real change can happen.
Please review each one carefully. Your agreement reflects your intention to participate with honesty, personal responsibility, curiosity, and respect.
Coaching, Not Psychotherapy
I understand that relationship coaching is a distinct service from psychotherapy or mental-health treatment. Coaching is focused on relationship patterns, communication, skills, accountability, and creating meaningful change in the present.
Personal Responsibility
I understand that I am responsible for my side of the relationship.
I will practice noticing my own thoughts, emotions, nervous-system responses, behaviors, and choices rather than focusing exclusively on what my partner needs to change.
Self-Tracking in Real Time
I agree to practice noticing myself while things are actually happening.
Instead of only analyzing conflict afterward,
I will work toward recognizing when I become activated, defensive, withdrawn, controlling, critical, overwhelmed, or disconnected and become increasingly able to make a different choice in the moment.
Curiosity Over Certainty
I understand that my experience of the relationship is real, but it is not the only experience in the room.
I will practice becoming curious about my partner’s internal world rather than assuming I already know their intentions, motivations, or meaning.
No Villains
I understand that relationship patterns are created between people.
This does not mean both partners are equally responsible for every behavior or every injury. It means our work will focus less on proving who is wrong and more on understanding what is happening between us and what each person can do differently.
Honest Participation
I agree to bring honesty into our work, including information that meaningfully affects the relationship or our ability to make progress.
I understand that meaningful repair is very difficult when important information is being withheld, minimized, distorted, or repeatedly discovered later.
Respect During Conflict
Strong emotions are welcome.
Contempt, intimidation, threats, humiliation, cruelty, disgust or using the coaching space to punish one another are not.
I agree to practice expressing difficult feelings without abandoning respect for my partner’s humanity.
Choice and Emotional Responsibility
I understand that I am always allowed to slow down, ask for clarification, take a moment, or say that I am not ready to discuss something.
I am responsible for communicating my needs rather than expecting my partner or Amy to automatically know what I need.
Repair Over Perfection
I understand that the goal is not to eliminate conflict.
Healthy relationships include misunderstanding, frustration, disappointment, and rupture. Our work is to become better at recognizing what is happening, taking responsibility, repairing, and finding our way back to connection.
Practice Between Sessions
I understand that the most important work does not happen only during our sessions.
I agree to experiment with the tools, agreements, communication practices, and changes we develop together in my actual relationship.
Amy Is Not the Referee
I understand that Amy’s role is not to determine which partner is right, decide whose version of an argument is correct, or become an ally against the other person.
Her role is to help us see the deeper pattern, tell us what she notices, challenge us when needed, teach practical skills, and help each of us become more accountable for the relationship we are creating.
Confidentiality Between Partners
I understand that this is couples coaching, not two separate confidential individual relationships with Amy.
If individual communication with Amy occurs, I understand that information relevant to the couple’s work may need to become part of the shared coaching process rather than being held as a secret from my partner.
Commitment to the Process
I understand that relationship change usually requires repetition.
One good conversation does not create a new relationship pattern. I agree to give new skills and new ways of relating enough practice to become familiar before deciding they “don’t work.”
Final Agreement
I have read and agree to these Relationship Coaching Energetic Agreements.
I enter this work willing to be honest, curious, accountable, and increasingly aware of the energy I bring into my relationship.
I understand that I cannot control my partner’s path to change. I can fully own my own.
And I’d end with a softer line underneath:
May this work become a place where you can tell the truth, feel deeply seen, take responsibility without shame, and learn how to find each other again.